Archive for the 'Patriots' Category

Biggest Upset in Football History: Giants Beat Pats

This sucks. A new level of stomach punch game. The New England Patriots are just like Ivan Drago from Rocky IV.

Mr. Tom Brady,

If you were hurt you shouldn’t have played. If you weren’t hurt, well you know no individual performance can overshadow a loss, especially one this big, but dude what happened in this game? Where were you?

[Edit: I know the offensive line gave up five sacks and didn’t move anyone forward all game. They didn’t show up, and it’s the biggest reason we lost. The big guys up front on offense didn’t show up. Brady didn’t think as quick as usual and the line didn’t give him unlimited time like they usually do. We just didn’t want it as bad as the other team, which is a shame but not the end of the world. Check out my feed for the un-edited version of this post]

This really fracking sucks.

To my future kids,

I wish I could tell you about a supreme champion from New England but I can’t. Remember not to cheat nor to become so greedy as to blind you to right and wrong. Ethics are important, professional sports are not.

The 2007-2008 New England Patriots, the greatest losers of all time.

The Satellite is Orbiting, The Bugs are Listening, The Cameras are Rolling: 24 Hours Until Pats Play Giants in Biggest Game Ever

Well, the anti-Patriots machine is running full-blast with Senator Arlen Specter asking why the “Spygate” tapes were destroyed and Matt Walsh, former video assistant with the Pats, claiming to possess evidence of the organization cheating well before this year or last year. Meanwhile, an anonymous source tells ESPN that the Patriots taped the Rams walk-through the day before the Super Bowl.

Make what you will of these accusations, but there is one thing we can all agree with; Bill Belichick gets better and better when he has more time to prepare. So, not only do the Giants have to fear the game plan Bill has concocted and put into place over the past two weeks, but also fear the advanced surveillance technologies we’ve surely either invented or purchased and already implemented by now. If the Patriots were videotaping the Rams walk through from the stands back in 2002, imagine the spying techniques we’ve since developed. Everyone jokes about Bill Belichick’s spy satellites, but I wouldn’t doubt Bob Kraft funding such a device if Bill asked for one.

Could Tom Coughlin be a cylon clone of the real Tom Coughlin, manufactured and slipped into the Giants organization by Ernie Adams, the invisible wonder? Are we sure the footballs used in tomorrow’s big game aren’t radio controlled? Do we know where the referees are tonight? Are we sure they’re not tucked away somewhere in their hotel being brainwashed by someone in the Patriots organization? Is the P.A.T.R.I.O.T. Act just a decoy from the Patriots worldwide surveillance network?

Enough questions. Tomorrow night is about answers; if the New England Patriots defeat the New York Giants to complete an undefeated season and capture a fourth Vince Lombardi trophy in seven years, they will be the greatest football dynasty ever. They’ve faced tougher competition under stricter circumstances and vanquished all challengers so far. There is no debate, with a win tomorrow these New England Patriots will become the prototypical NFL organization. Spygate, the Tom Brady baby mama drama, the Ted Johnson concussion controversy, Cindy CrawfordRodney Harrison’s HGH suspension and all the other criticisms are just blemishes on an awesome, so far, body of work. As Cindy Crawford proved years ago, blemished bodies can still be perfect.

So let’s stop focusing on the past and look forward to tomorrow and what just might be the best display of football we’ve ever seen. I expect both teams to play near-perfect football and for the contest to come down to the last few minutes, just like their week 17 match up. I feel both teams passing offenses match up well against the opposing team’s defense and both teams will come out throwing the ball. We all know about the Patriots spread offense and the Giants will utilize a similar strategy to take advantage of their height advantage over the Pats cornerbacks. Don’t get me wrong, they’ll both run the ball moderately well but I expect this game to be an air show, with both quarterbacks throwing for 3-5 touchdowns.

In the end, the Patriots have the advantage in this game due to their experience, higher talent levels and greater depth. Also, I’ll take Bill Belichick over Tom Coughlin any day of the week. It’ll be a nail-biter but I think and hope the Patriots will succeed on their quest for a fourth Lombardi trophy. Having said all those words, I’m still a little bit nervous and very, very anxious for this game to start, exactly how I’ve felt before every other game this year.

Patriots 56, Giants 52

Web Quotes and Counterpoints II

Only the second Web Quotes and Counterpoints and we’ve already got a record, least topics covered.

We’ve got the man who brought you the Punching Play; the Poke his Fingers in your Eyes Play; Vince Wilfork, the Dirty Dominator, brings you the Face Mask Penalty Play. According to Len Pasquerelli on ESPN.com, Vince, after hearing about the $5,000 the NFL fined him for a face mask penalty

…called the fine — first reported by The Boston Globe and confirmed by league and team sources —
ridiculous,

and suggested he will appeal the punishment.

Well, I’d think it was ridiculous too if I was getting fined $37,500* in a season by my employer’s boss, yet alone by the fact that I was working in seasons. In other words, it’s all good, we’re focused on the Super Bowl now.

Meanwhile Plaxico Burress is comparing himself and his mates to the fluid five, Wes Welker, Randy Moss, Jabbar Gaffney, Daunte Stallworth, and Ben Watson. Oh and Ellis Hobbs is giving away his known disadvantages to the Associated Press:

“He’s got such long arms,” Hobbs said. “A normal throw from Eli that is too high for an average receiver is like normal for” Burress.

Yup, so just overthrow everyone and at least Hobbs won’t get a pick on the play. That’s the strategy OK.

*One fine, for hitting J.P. Losman was later reduced to $10,000 bringing the grand total so far to $35,000.

Web Quotes and Counterpoints I

In a new, sporadically published, feature, I’ll share with you some interesting quotes from around the web. Let’s get to it.

For $20 a month, you can get an infinite supply of the internet. Clara Moskowitz of LiveScience thinks this infinite supply is dangerous and writes:

These over-wired people are so focused on their gadgets, they neglect relationships with other people, O’Neill said. Communication aids such as texting and e-mail may actually hamper our abilities to have more important face-to-face conversations.

True. Sometimes when I’m talking to people “face-to-face” I lose focus and start searching for the ignore, send to voice-mail button.

I like Chuck Klosterman’s writing style, but in his latest article for ESPN.com, he writes a bunch of mumble-jumble about how history will look at these New England Patriots more favorably if they lose. The premise is silly and I don’t recommend reading the article, but, there was one glorious nugget hidden within it:

Taken to its logical (and therefore most absurd) extreme, a truly perfect football team would score on every offensive play, surrender zero yards defensively, and never miss an extra point. Even on PlayStation, this is impossible.

Little does he realize, but Chuck just gave the Patriots a little more motivation for Super Bowl Sunday. You don’t tell these New England Patriots that a task is impossible. I was nervous about this Super Bowl, just like I’ve been nervous before the other 18 games this season, but I’m starting to grow more confident that this Super Bowl will be a blowout. The Patriots are the true underdogs in this game anyway. It’s New York versus New England. This rivalry has been going on for centuries and it’s time for us New Englanders to finally take the title of Beasts of the Northeast.

This site made me “LOI”.

I want a Super Bowl Ring. I want it bad.

How anyone could doubt Randy Moss would fit in here with the Patriots? Sure, on the surface I thought it was an odd fit, but looking past the superficial dissimilarities, we all should have seen this monster season coming. Why? Take a look at this Youtube video of Randy Moss’ offseason training program from the Randy Moss documentary, from which the above quote came.

In a very interesting article, Caroline Williams writes for the New Scientist about time and how our perception affects our time. Apparently, we all have a piece of our brain which:

…emits regular pulses that are temporarily stored in an accumulator. When we need an estimate of how much time has passed - how long we’ve been waiting for a bus, say, or whether that pot of tea is likely to be ready - we simply access the contents of the accumulator.

Though it makes sense that we’d all have such a device in our brains, after all we don’t need a watch to recognize that time has gone by, it’s a bit mind-blowing to know scientists are studying such a device. Warren Meck and Catalin Buhusi from Duke University [go Tarheels] compiled evidence and studied the biological basis of this device.

They suggest that the hub of the interval-timing system is a region of the brain called the striatum, part of the basal ganglia. But it is not as simple as saying that the striatum is the brain’s pacemaker. Instead, they say, it monitors activity in other areas of the brain including the frontal cortex. As neurons in these brain regions go about their business, coordinating movement, attention, memory and so on, they produce waves of electrical excitation that are detected by the striatum and integrated into an estimate of how much time has passed.

That’s so cool. We don’t all have actual clocks in our heads, but by following the transmission rate of electrical waves in our brain, our brain can determine time. In the next quote from the same article, Warren Meck notes that dopamine affects the transmission rate and thus the time estimate.

Schizophrenics have too much dopamine activity in the brain so their clock is so fast that it feels like the whole world is crazy

Interesting. So it’s not that Schizophrenics are crazy, it’s just that they think the world is crazy and thus don’t act like everyone else in order to maintain sanity. In other words, Schizophrenics go crazy trying to avoid being crazy like everyone else. OK, one more quote from this fascinating article:

At last year’s meeting of the Society for Neuroscience in Washington DC, the Dalai Lama gave a talk to the assembled neuroscientists on how time seems to slow down during meditation, as you focus away from the internal clock. Yet when you surface from meditation, he said, you think more time has passed than actually has. This is uncannily like being in the zone.

Having played football for five years in high school and one year of club lacrosse and club football in college, I’ve experienced being in the zone a few times. It does seem like time slows down, or at least everyone around you is moving slower than usual. Watching Tom Brady, it also seems like he’s in the zone a lot (duh); meaning he sits in the pocket and analyzes defenses so well I wonder if he feels like minutes go by when he’s back there. I wonder how many professional athletes meditate before games.

Speaking of being in the zone, I’m expecting this to be the greatest Super Bowl ever played. Contrary to my earlier comment of the Patriots playing a perfect game (they won’t, though here’s hoping) I think this will be a very close game and will come down to the end. Randy Moss said it well in an interview on his site, The Real Randy Moss (click Moss’ Corner, then Interviews to read the full post):

This is the last football game of the season. We’ll have time to rest our bodies and minds and reflect back on it afterwards. At this point, it doesn’t have anything to do with statistics, MVP’s and things like that. It’s about getting the job done.

So utilitarian. He goes on to say that “To win a championship on every level would mean a lot to my resume.” Right. Winning the Super Bowl is just a bullet point for Randy on his curriculum vitae. A week after he’ll be with his trainer working to get even more jacked for next season, no matter the outcome. That’s humble pie folks.

Who will you root for? The Giants, led by Mr. “But I don’t wanna play in San Diego” or the perfect yet humble Patriots, who’ve taken on and vanquished every challenge, on and off the field, that the world has thrown at them. OK, let’s end with some political comedy.

If you’re in my facebook network, you’ve probably already seen this video and read my opinion on it but for those who aren’t or haven’t check out the latest debate between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, followed by me quoting me.

LOI…that’s the best debate I’ve seen those two have yet.

Though, Obama is a much better candidate than Hilary, they’re both part of the corporate-media complex that plagues our political process.

The way to solve this debate is to vote for Ron Paul. Yup, somehow an old, white, Republican man from Texas is the answer to all the shit that an old, white, Republican man from Texas caused this country.

Ron Paul, FTW.

That’s all for this interval, people. Check back next time for more web quotes and counterpoints [whenever that may be].






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